Competing Commitments - Which one wins?

Reading over my notebooks and journals (full of thought-provoking entries) I found a disturbing pattern.

I was disappointed because I noticed I had written down the very same things - several times - year after year and they weren’t accomplished yet.

These were and are things I really want to do too.

Being big on mindset and personal growth - this was doubly upsetting - because I could see my own pattern emerging and I was enabling it.

I found what I believed to be the culprit...or scape goat....

#Competing Commitments

This is when you put something, presumably important to you, off for something else you consider more important …. or easier to do or to give you an excuse to avoid something seemingly less pleasant or difficult.

So why wasn’t I taking action if it meant so much to me?

The simple answer is Fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not being enough, fear of not succeeding. Loss of limb or life was nowhere in the thought process - somehow getting my ego bruised was enough.

I allowed other commitments to be more important- and while I accomplished many things - I see I used the easier commitments as an excuse.

Can you think of times when you’ve done this?

Another pattern arose - I would throw myself into something that was a sure fire success. Now, just between you and me…many of those times I volunteered to be of service….so at least, while I was avoiding something challenging, I felt I did , at the least, provide value … somewhere.

As an example, I will use “health and fitness” to demonstrate Competing Commitments.

So you can relate:

I want a fit and healthy body - and while I consider myself a 7 out of 10 (sometimes a 6) on my own scale of 0-10, I don't love working out. I would rather research and read up on all things personal development and mindset mastery and then share it. I also associate my discomfort with working out

So, while I know I should work out - I will use my other obligations as a reason I can't. I will make my commitments compete for each other...and once they are in competition, the weaker one will loose….almost every time. Do I feel bad at the time? NO, because I at least did do something worthwhile.

Of course once in a while this escapism works, not a crime, but repeatedly the compounded effect can be quite disheartening. This behavior eventually catches up with us either mentally or physically.

You get the jist.

So how do you combat this so your important commitments aren't competing?

First, you have to review the one you keep putting off and ask yourself if it’s something you are just interested in or are you committed to achieving or doing it. Next you have to know why it’s important to you…because that will be the fuel to keep you committed.

Once you have decided it’s worthy of your focus you have to make time for your action steps. There is no way around it…decide it’s a must and schedule it in.

Set time limits on the ones you know you don't want to but should do …the more progress you make, the more it will become a “get to” instead of a “got to”.

Once you start to see results - the commitments can stop competing and start complimenting each other.

Let me know if this was helpful.

Always a source of help and/or inspiration if you need - just email me: debbie@debbiepeck.com

xoxo